1.18.2004

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i'm tired...tired of being the only non-competitive senior...of dancing only because i made a commitment, not because it's fun
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i'm tired of pretending...pretending to be people's friends...or that they're friends with me...that everything is fine, even when it never is...that i'm happy...that i'm not depressed, or even that i never was.
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i'm tired of...being pitied...being felt sorry for...being me...being an underachiever trying to overachieve...putting stress on myself until i crack from it...it all!
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all i want is to get out...to graduate from high school...go to college...and get a nice job and marry someone i love...i want to leave the my pathetic excuse for a high school life behind...with only a few exceptions...to my real friends, i hope i can stay in touch and always remember you...to my pretend friends, i'll quit pretending.
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don't worry...there is nothing to worry about...i'm fine...i always am...aren't i? no need to get upset or concerned about me...cuz nothing is ever wrong...ever. . .

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