wow its been awhile huh? i've been so very busy with dance i just haven't had time. Not that anyone comes here and reads this. see watch.. Mikey, Ben and all...i love you. i mean it i love you, i just can't help it.

now if someone were to actually come here and read this, they'd definitely have something to say about that!


isn't your senior year supposed to be the best one of all? you'd think so huh... instead here i am supposedly enjoying the best years of my life and what happens instead? i fail at everything i try out for, overload myself way too much, and generally am just about to snap. i can't handle this much stress, this has been proven in the past. it builds and builds and then finally one day i snap, last time i lost my best friend, what will happen this time? i am taking three AP classes, but four tests...I can't get into NHS, i got cut from the competition (the only senior that tried out and didn't make it), and am feeling overwhelmed and useless. what the hell is wrong with me. Can't i just enjoy a school year for once?




hey everyone...whats new? I can't wait until i get to see Kyle again! yay! anyway i hope nothings wrong with Stizash, cuz i don't think that i could take it. So have you heard the news about Holly's homecoming? apparently a few 'techies decided that everyone who wanted to could go to that homecoming so that we all could go together. I would want to go, but out of the two people that i would want to dance with most one has graduated and the other probably either won't want to or won't be able to. oh c'mon everyone we all know who i'm talking about, do i really have to mention names? so yah anyway i think i'm gonna go and visit ben at work so see y'all later!


hey everyone! whats new? OCCRA here i come! i hope its fun...maybe kinda, well as long as Mikey and Josh are there, or even Rob, then it will. for sure. HEY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO LIVE BY ME....go to the homecoming game (oct 3) or the soccer game (oct 7) and watch us dance! cuz dance team is the best..OK>?


You know what really makes me mad? I hate not having anyone to talk to, there is NO one that i can talk to when things build up in my head, when i need help dealing with something, or when i just need to talk something out... I used to be able to do that here, but now i'm afraid that either someone i know will read it and comment, or that talking to myself just won't work anymore. So instead i keep it all inside and don't let anyone know about it, and sooner or later it all explodes out because I just can't handle it anymore...

wow am i a pathetic loser or what? i need to stop whining and solve my damn problems myself...so me a favor next time you see me, smack one. Maybe then i'll get my head on straight...


At least i think that Kyle's coming over...I hope that he can, we're painting that day, however, i don't think that i have to help! yay! oh and also yay because i don't have a black eye! (just a bruised shoulder, ankle, knee, and hip, and something's wrong with my ribs) but thats besides the point. does anyone love me anymore? doesn't seem like it, especially since no one has left me a mbaord message since the end of what 10th grade? no more messages for me... too bad...


Hey! so, i've been in school for a week, and i guess that its going ok. Buying gas officially sucks now though!think that i might have a black eye...so no one better make fun of me! not kool... our new dance for the pep assembly is so freaking awesome thoguh! it definitely rocks...all of abby's dances do! mike's not in bio anymore...i'll miss him, he's my buddy...it was going to be soo kool having him in ap with me...oh well, at least he's still in stats! oh and on another note, kyle might be coming down on monday, yay! i can't wait!


so yah i was at kettering...funfunfun! dance today, dance wednesday during which i have to skip the meeting and only go to technique, then senior pictures that night...i have to babysit tomorrow, and skool starts a week from wednesday. not kool


hey guys! guess where i'm going on saturday??? i'm going to Kettering for an open house..yay i get to hangout with Kyle and Joelle.... sweet


hey peeps yes i said peeps i am home again, and driving like you wouldn't believe!!! im bored, i got back from ben's house today and have done absolutley nothing....im just waiting for Kyle to call...:D i'm excited...i've only talked to him online a few tiems since i came home...and actually i kind of miss him, he's my new buddy...hey mike call me! we need to have another study session ok?

love you guys
email me and leave me comments...i need a topic to talk about

love you still



hey guys! well i leave for kettering today! yay! I hope it will be fun, hmmm maybe i'll have to go visit brad while i'm there...interesting... anyway i'll be gone until August 1st! so on a side note: happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeee, happy birthday to me (july 26)


I can driver now!!! I am an officially licensed driver, and thank god for that! Anyway, yah i had a strange dream yesterday, and it was about kyle too! strange strange strange, *even if he's kinda cute* but enough about that! I leave on sunday, so if you want to wish me a happy birthday or have me call you while i'm up at kettering, then email me or call me or something! ok? thanks a bunch! oh wait I'm not done yet. I just want to make a statement, so that this is known. Just because I think that someone is hot or I kinda like a teensy little bit (even though i have a boyfriend myself) doesn't mean I want to act on it. It is just a harmless crush. Plus it's not like its a big secret or something, pretty much even one knows who I have a crush on at any point in time. I can't keep secrets about who I like, it just doesn't work that way.


I am happy again!!! after my road test being canceled due to a crack in the windshield and a nitpicky road tester, i was serously pissed. even more so when i discovered that i couldnt take it again until a month later! grrr. but now, maybe not soo much grrr! i get to take it on onday through another company, who cares if it's in ponticrack, i get to finally (hopefully) have my license!!! yay!

on a sidenote: a certain "you-know-who" needs to call me and and talk to me about a few certain "you-know-whats" and yes there are 2!!! CALL ME PLEASE!!!


wow...i think that i need to watch what i say on my site. you wouldn't think that i would considering that it is my site but i guess that since i recently found about a couple of certain people that read my site on and off, i've decided not to say anything potentialy embarassing to myself or a certain other. i know that he especially might appreciate this. i wouldn't want to offend those certain people. and for those of you that know me, i am prone to do that...so i guess i'll just have to be more careful deal?


so yah im back from dance camp...oooh....soooo sore! anyway yah i ws supposed to babysit but not until next week now! oh well, guess that i got up early for nothing! but thats ok, so yah only 19 more days until kettering and 25 more days until my birthday(not that i'll be home for it though!) love you guys!


so yah, its been an eventful week! well last week mostly...but anyway i go to dance camp starting friday. that should be fun!!! i wont see stash for awhile though, but i'll make it! teehee, well anyway on a sidenote, my study session for AP Bio is on thursday...that should be uh...interesting!


no more school! so what if i technically am supposd to go until tuesday, i'm finished so i don't have to go, yay!


apparently the person that i WAS talking to, was not the only one that got that message. In case you didn't know, that message ws directed towards Mikey. it was not intended for YOU i don't know if the message on your site was directed towards me or not, and really i don't care. ok? I JUST DON'T CARE...i swear sometimes you think that you are the only one with problems. so i guess that i should make that message a little clearer. MIKEY: i am sorry, can YOU forgive me?


so yah...i want to apologize...that was out of line...if you knew what i was talking about, then you would understand...can you forgive me?


so yah, graduation is over, junior year only has two more full days, and then two half days. Look out, the class of '04 is soon to be the SENIOR CLASS OF '04 it'll go by fast, well not that last two weeks or so, but for the most part it'll fly by! i can't wait


a note to my senior buddies

STASH: so...you're graduating...im happy for you, really i am. I know that you need to start your life, and i'll support you no matter what. I promise! Just don't go off and find someone else while i'm at school/dance/OCCRA. i promise that there will always be time for us... no matter what, i'll make time if i have to. will you? i'll always love you though

BEN: well you're graduating too, and since you opted out of tech i really haven't seen you since science ended. i'll miss you next year, you've been a really good friend to me! i'm glad that i met you when i did, i probably would have met you through mikey anyway, but this way we were better friends. You've given me some greatd advice, and some other advice that even though i followed it (you know what i'm talking about) i probably shouldn't have, but all in all im glad i did! (i know i know, it was my idea in the first place!!!) Hopefully we will hang out this summer, maybe then i won't miss you quite so much.

BRAD: yah brad, i'll miss you too...i guess...i'll see you when i get to Kettering.

*not quite seniors*
MIKEY: im glad that we are going to be seniors next year, but when its all over thats going to be the hard part. MIkey i think that you might just be one of my best friends, we've gone through alot of stuff as friends haven't we. We dated (for a couple of weeks), we kinda hated each other for awhile after that, and then we were friends again. After that i liked you again, then you kinda liked me again, then we kinda liked each other. you hate my boyfriend, but we're still friends. Gotta love mikey, just can't help it! Have a great senior year!!!


see Kim, that's what makes you better than the others a OSMTech, you don't follow other stupid people, you disband when they start getting fuked up


i miss you ben... are you coming back to OSMTech anytime before the end of the year to visit? i haven't seen you in sooo long...can i visit you on the way to gramma's one day?

"Stay away from blacklights, bathrooms, and science closets for they can be deadly"-quote from signature in yearbook (big inside joke...only 3 peeps that would understand, me included)




i still want that hug from mikey..8^P that would be nice..hehehe..evil aren't i? so yah, i'm part of jola now, its fun...plus i get to meet nice people? gotta love them, tech is just as boring as ever. Wish i could spend sometime with my sweetie...wouldn't you think that he would rather spend time with me than look for his keys? you would think so wouldn't you...hmmm...oh well!!!


hey everybody! yah so you see that link on the side there ----> the one to jola? well i am a member there now so go there and read my stuff!!! lol...i still need a hug...preferably from Mikey..;) that would make me feel better!


you know what sucks? i hate it when people are mad at/upset with you and you have absolutely NO idea why! thats what is happening to me right now! all these people are mad at me and i don't have a clue why...can someone give me a clue here? cuz i don't think that i can take this much longer...help?


A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, It looks like you blew a seal." No, no," the penguin replies, it's just ice cream."


Why the hell would you tell your girlfriend you almost cheated on her?


you gotta let me know what you wanna do though ok?



CALLME! we'll hang out over break!


anyhoo, whats new with you? gotta take another migraine pill today...only this time i actually have a headache!! at least i think i do...yummmy mountain dew too!


cows go mooooooooo

cows from my head go "mwabwahahahahahlolololheh"

see thats what caffeinated migraine pills do to you


i know you have a blog somewhere, just where is it?

oh c'mon you know you hate me too...just admit it, to everyone


well its tuesday now and there is no school! a good thing, but yet a bad thing...

you see i haven't been to OSMTech since last wednesday and i haven't been at LO since thurday, hmmmm. and that means that no one has had to take LO 3rd and 4th hour exams yet which means that wednesday (if we have skool) will be a halfday not a pd day. and thats just not right


Ok, our power went out on friday at 12 noon. so at about 7pm me and my brother went to my boyfriend's house (he had no power either but they have a generator) so from 12-6 we had no power which means water but not heat. my mom came and picked us up there at 9-9:15ish we ate dinner and went home, where the power was on for about 15 minutes (verrrrry cold nite). ok now, fast forward to saturday. another day of no power, so we were going to go stay at a hotel. i went to Stash's house while my parents and brother checked into the hotel before dinner (we were going to meet them at the restaurant) so then they call us and say "Guess what? the hotel has no power or heat either!" so we went to wooden eagle for dinner and then back to his house to get firewood. (another verrry cold nite, this time spent on the couch.) ok now, on to sunday (today), our power came back on at about 12:05 today, so yay for that! but its still cold...showering was interesting...once you were in the shower you were warm, but definitely not when you got out!


exams today musical tomorrow....hey come and see the musical next week April 10,11, and 12th!!!


well yup now i've gone and done it...they're both mad at me...yup yup yup..i gotta start using common sense


hey wanna know a secret? mike was extra hot at ypsi today...yah i'll admit it, he's the hot holly guy! well what did you expect...


im sad :( well not so much sad as well its a strange mood


hey everybody...well my issues are sorted out...the weird thing was that even though we both know that it wouldn't work, i still liked what we had...and now i know thats gone for sure


does this stupid thing even work anymore? hey does anyone care to help me sort out my issues?



"Somewhere I Belong"

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I live it all out to find
That I?m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I?ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I?ve got nothing to say
I can?t believe I didn?t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it?s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
?Cause I can?t trust to find the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Repeat Chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away and find myself today

[Repeat Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I?m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I?m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
OH MAN....I HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES...am i actually considering this? hey boys...know anyone that an fix a hot plate?




Yah well lasertag sure didn't work... at least me and KP had fun! next time either i'm not inviting people who say they'll come and either cancel at the last second or don't show up and i'm setting things up at least a week in advance...now that just makes me mad, at least have the decency to call or email and say, "oh yah sorry um i can't go anymore" or SOMETHING i mean c'mon now people...grrr


hey peoples, we are gonna have some fuuuun this next week...paintball, laser tag, drew fry & KP, puttputt and who knows what else! lots o' fun! anyhoo, how many miles do you have on ya?


we did great, just like i thought we would. valentines day didn't suck quite as much as i thought it would. thats always good, do you love me? cuz i love all you, would you mind coming over to fix my hot plate?


hellllloooooo! whats up? we are gonna be awesome on friday (just to let you know) why the hell am i so damn indecisive? i think that what i'll do is wait and see if something happens between them, and if it does, i'll decide on a course of action from there, does that sound like a plan? now...should i tell him about this? lets ask our trusty FRIEND A!


valentines day is going to suck! first we had to dance at the freaking basketball game, which means that i would've been there until at least 8:30 (nows thats would've meant i'd be skool from 7:20am-8:30pm) so i really couldn't have hung out with Stash, (i'm too sleepy and worn out). Now however, that doesnt even matter cuz to top it all off he's going up north (skipping skool) to work with his dad and then staying up there all weekend to visit Greg...nevermind that he's leaving on valentines day and that the last time i will have seen him is the day before DURING skool (i have dance at skool then at the studio) thats all i wanted on valentines day was to see him and be with him, and i can't even manage that. But then again, its not like anyone else is gonna want to hang out with me that day...


yah i only have to things to say, well actually three...

A) im screwed up

B) i have giant issues

and C) "the scary part is, i think it's true"

mike: you know what that means


we got new unifoms...there uh interesting (to say the least)...dude so much has happened this week, i've cried probably about three times and maybe at least once more to go! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! heh science is always fun though...no matter what mikey and Ben can make me feel better...even if it is by writing i love ben and i hate Lake O. on my shoes...hey its all in good fun

edit: yup i cried again...but like i said mikey and ben have the power to make me feel better...i wonder if it bothers mikeys gf that i call him mikey....cuz she doesnt call him that, i think, only me!..hmmmm oh well


game tomorrow...gotta dress up for skool though...:(..poopy...i hate dressing up! don't all y'all? anyhoo...whats new? im bored, as shown by the obsessive note writing to mike and ben...heh they dont mind see y'all later!


new classes are so much fun...yay i have josh in three classes!!! still no stizash though..:( oh well i'll manage cuz i least i still have my boys!


hey everyone here's a Q...should i rename my site? what do you think of the name <*evil-high-pitched-girlish-giggle*> ? let me know... hey you know that song 'always'?

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things, that you would probably hide
Am I, your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry
Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you
I love you, I hate you, I can?t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you
Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you,done with you
I feel, like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things, I guess I'll see you around
Its all, been bottled up until now
As I walk out your door, all I can hear is the sound of
Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you
I love you, I hate you, I can?t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you
I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I wrapped my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart?
Always... always... always... always...
I see, the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel, more like a man?
Was it all, just a part of your plan
The pistols shaking in my hands and all I hear is the sound
I love you, I hate you, I can?t live without you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you
I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor and now I'm done with you
Always... always... always...

i love that song


hey i had exams today, i got a 91% on my programming exam, and i don't know about german! AHHHHH anyhoo i have new classes starting tuesday, yay! i get to go to the Monster Truck thingy on Saturday...i don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing yet though...hmmm mikey and Bent will be there though, thats always fun! no skool tomorrow...heh...too bad for all you full-day LO kids! heh next quarter i get to try and explain to my history teacher why the only junior in a sophmore class has to leave early everyday except tuesday, and wednesday, and why i am only here every other wednesday...should be interesting...see y'all later!



we are totally awesome!! not to be an airhead or anything but dance team is absolutely freaking awesome! we danced at the basketball games on tuesday and friday and we were awesome(to be redundant) sooo much better than the cheerleaders! who would of thought that we could pull of an entirely new dance in 2 days! i didnt even think we could do but hey we did!
anyway on a different note, yesterday was a year for me and the boy, he's such a sweetie, you can't help but love him! right? anyhoo...yay tech's almost over, back to science with my guys, i missed them! cya y'all later!