10.17.2002

OHMYGOD i have a serious moral dilemma on my hands, actually i think that its just a dilemma at the moment though. anyhoo though do you know how much i'd love it if you would just say "go ahead, give it a shot, get it out of your system" or something of the sort? except the major problem is that it most likely wouldn't get it OUT of my system, but further ingrained in it, especially if it was found to be enjoyable...see my problem?!? the perfect solution isn't possible, actually its just wrong! But now i'm not sure what to do! do i risk jepordizing my relationship and go for it (not smart) and do i give up what could be my only chance? i don't want to break up with him, its been nine months and i love him, but what if i never find out what i'm missing? making decisions SUCKS

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