7.22.2002

hi again...4 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7.20.2002

I wonder what i would do for them, what the consequences would be, what you would say, what we both would do, all for two innocent little kisses. Those two little things could end us, they haven't happened, i really shouldn't even consider it... but one innocent little kiss from each person...what harm could they do? a lot definitely more than i could even begin to consider...so why then am i even thinking about them? why are they haunting me? WHY? i need to forget the idea even popped into my head, stop, those two people don't even know what i am thinking about. i'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to matters like this...am i now?

7.18.2002

You get upset because i never 'talk' to you, you say that i never share my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions. Maybe it is because i'm just simply not that kind of girl. Did you ever think of that? hmm? Well i'm not, i am not opinionated, i can't share my feelings or my thoughts for multiple reasons. There is no eaasy answer, i could say that i'm too shy, or that i just can't because i was too afraid of it coming back on me before. But that, that just isn't it... i don't know what it is...i'd like too, but i can't. We never go anywhere, we never do anything, i used to be content with that, yesterday however, i just wasn't. I'll admit, we did have a couple of conversations yesterday, i did find out a few things that normally i wouldn't have. Yet some of them, they just bothered me for unexplained reasons...don't worry i still love you, we're not through yet...that has to be a mutual decision, and it isn't happening yet...i love you now and i always will...yet sometimes i wonder what else is out there, i haven't had that much experience, i only dated two other guys before you, one back in 8th grade and the other only for a few weeks...i can't help but wonder what i'm missing out on, (don't worry, i don't plan on acting any of this out) today's Greg's birthday...happy birthday to him...i know you'll never see this...that is for the best, i know i'll never explain this to you either I can almost see it know, if i let any of this out to you then things will be misunderstood, taken the wrong way and we'll break up...and i don't want that...lots of love...kk

7.17.2002

hey, yesterday was LS's birthday...heh, only 9 more days until mine! wahoo, i'll finally be 16!

7.15.2002

omg, that picnic was so much fun yesterday!!! i got to hang out with 2 of my favorite holly people BT and RW, yay...

7.12.2002

i got my permit today...yay!! and SF isn't gonna break up with me, it was all just a misunderstanding! ok see y'all later!

7.11.2002

hey everyone! well i sent in a submission to a webring, maybe now i'll actually get some hits!!! i passed drivers ed segment one!!! yay!!! i am so happy...some strange stuf has been happening lately, i am sorta getting a feeling the SF wants to berak up with me...that could be bad!!! we have been going out for 6 months as of yesterday...uh-oh...i dont wanna break up, i think that its probably all in my head though, so OH WELL! and then BT has said some weird stuff..*sigh*...BioChemTech should be interesting to say the least!

7.10.2002

hey everybody! Whats up with all of you? i took my written exam for Drivers Ed yesterday and i got a 95/100 (thats only 5 wrong for u none mathematically minded, j/k!) and then today i took my range test, only 2 points off!!! (true i may have cheated, but everybody does, and i didn't get caught!) and then tomorrow (wednesday) i take the raod portion of my test!!! yay..i almost have my permit!! wahoo!! yippee!!! sorry im a bit excited! and yah, maybe i'll get to see SF today, i kinda hope so, but then again, maybe i should see how long i can go with out seeing him...before going crazy, hmmm how 'bout not! after i go on vacation, i'll come back, see him once, and then not see him again for another week before he goes to band camp and then i won't see him again until me and my mommy go to pick him up...*sigh*

7.08.2002

lalalalalala..hopefully this will work this time!!! hey guess what movie i finally saw? thats right a clockwork orange!!! that was... well lets just say that was an interesting movie!!! hah! later all y'all!!!

7.03.2002

heh...i knew it wouldn't work! does it ever? i try and do something, cause a reaction, you know the like. does it happen? i think not!! anyway though, whats up with everybody? SF is going to go work up north again, although i really he'd rather not, but hey i'm not gonna stand in his way. Actually in a way in could be a good thing, my daddy says that i spend too much time with him anyway, he's probably right. Heh, gives me more time to spend with LS and KW !!! i miss them anyway...so yah, i'll have to call them soon..ok? later y'all!

7.01.2002

hey you want to know somthing? im not to proud to admit it either, i miss my former best friend. He knows who he is, nothing can ever be the same between us. But i can cope with thatm i think. i miss having someone that i can talk to though, i used to be able to talk to him about anything. Sure sometimes i risked the chance of being called dumb, or dork, or the like, but hey that was better than the alternative! My guy would prefer it if i could talk to him about things that bother me, i just can't do that though. No matter how hard i try... i just can't, after a few things that happened way back when, i learned not to share too much, the are people who could make my life a living hell if they wanted to, simply because they know too much! I know that in the end it can all come back on me just in a matter of time...that sucks, it really truly does!!! i doubt that he really misses me though, but thats ok, i expect that so later y'all...have a fun 4th of july if i don't talk to you before then!