you don't love me anymore? When i asked you if you still loved me yesterday, i guess i don't know what i was expecting...its just that well, no matter what, no matter how mad or how upset i've ever been with you i never stopped loving you, not even for a second(i guess you could call it unconditional love in a way.) So when you said that you had to think about it and to ask you again in a few days, that hurt, it hurt like nothing else has or almost anything else could. And to make it worse, i don't even think that you realized it. But now even though you say that you made up your mind and that you still love me, i don't if i can really believe you, and that hurts too...i have no way of knowing if you really truly meant that or if it was just something you said because you knew i wanted to hear it and that it would make me feel better. And the really sad thing is that i can see where everything you said came from, and that it's true, but that still hurts...thats why i called you today, thats why now i feel the need to try and explain this to you, but can you really understand? can i explain this without causing even more problems? or am i just the problem entirely in itself? sometimes i wish you could just read this but thats not really communicating is it? and thats seems to be our problem...so no matter what i still love you, i always will, but will you love me back?


please please please came to the dance show,here's the info
day:thursday 12/19
place: @ LOHS auditorium


an 11 page math final...do you know how much that sucks? lets see a show of hands to see how many people agree...ahhh just as i thought...no ones listening...as always, i love you too




you see the problem is... well exactly that! This is going to sound like major rehash, but when i was friends with a certain someone i never had to make my own decisions...everything i did or thought about was dictated by them. and the strange thing was, that i got used to it...i didnt mind at all. and now it drives stash up the wall that i am so damn indecisive...and he's right. and something else he's right about is that i bottle everything up inside until it explodes out...everyone knows what happened last time that happened, don't they??? but anyway i think that i've finally figured out the reason why i do this...before i tried never to let people know when i was angry or upset ... mostly because of the chance that it would all come back on me, or that i would be teased, over my 'stupid idiotic thoughts'...made to feel like i was a moron, that the things i felt were insignificant...maybe they were i dont know...but thats not the point...but after all i shouldnt blame anyone but myself, i let these things happen to me...this isnt an excuse...maybe just a reason...


well i saw jackass in sunday with stash, it was awesome, but you really have to be one of those people who like stupid dumb hilarious shit like that.. (which i am!!!!!) it was just great!!! yay...the only thing that could have made it better was if Ben and Mike were there... i was really really looking forward to that, even more than last time! oh well


wahoo three and a half day weekend! yay...heres my hopeful schedule
Thursday: exams (yucky), practice dance with Manda, dance @the studio
Friday: no skool!!! (yay), jackass w/mike,erin&ben
saturday: durand band competition



OHMYGOD i have a serious moral dilemma on my hands, actually i think that its just a dilemma at the moment though. anyhoo though do you know how much i'd love it if you would just say "go ahead, give it a shot, get it out of your system" or something of the sort? except the major problem is that it most likely wouldn't get it OUT of my system, but further ingrained in it, especially if it was found to be enjoyable...see my problem?!? the perfect solution isn't possible, actually its just wrong! But now i'm not sure what to do! do i risk jepordizing my relationship and go for it (not smart) and do i give up what could be my only chance? i don't want to break up with him, its been nine months and i love him, but what if i never find out what i'm missing? making decisions SUCKS


heh heh heh well now wasnt that conversation interesting?? that makes for the second (as of yet) *interesting* conversation today heh gotta love 'em


why is it that when i want someone to talk to, no one wants to listen? But then again , when i don't want to talk about something, everyone is all ears...? hmmm...gives me something to think about :D


well needless to say, we didnt go last night...:(...i was disappointed, i really wanted them to come, and i really wanted to go...:(


go sign my guestmap!!!! . . . please?
yup yup yup hehehehehehe now i get to leave after pregame and go see a movie with Mike, Ben and Erin (mike's gf) tomorrow!!! yay!!!


PS nine months on thursday, too bad i won't be home...hey Ben and Mike, wanna come watch the soccer game? you can see me and RachelY dance..c'mon it could be fun, please?
yah well yes i will admit i had a fight with stash, on friday. But everything is all taken care of now, everything is fine, we're all ok...thank god! it was a stupid fight too, partially over the same stupid topic we keep fightung over, mostly through a fault on my part (oopsie, my bad, did i do that?) Big Deal...im over it...no more fighting (hopefully)! anyhoo heres my schedule for the week

Monday: dance
Tuesday: dance
Wednesday:osmtech@ 7:45 to take the MichMathPrizeTestThingy, LO until 12:31, home, dance 3-4:30, babysit 6-?
Thursday:skip dance@mystudio, dance at the varsity soccer game halftime
Friday:dance at the pregame of varsity football game (maybe go see red dragon w/benT,mike,and erin...i hope...i know how stash feels about Ben though...i'll have to talk it over some more with him though)


I HATE FIGHTING sure its all ok now, but still


and who are you? i am the vice dictator of the united states of Lake Orion, who are you?


what am i thinking god damn my mind changes easily...yesterday all i wanted was stash...now i was thinking again about kissing a certain someone (oh they know who they are) what the hell is my problem...i need to straighten my mind out!


:( im not always a good girlfriend...especially since i flirt with all my guys...but hey no harm done...i can't help it..i like to...they dont seem to mind...tell me (BT im looking in ur direction) do you mind when i flirt with you?


omg i was almost ready to quit today...i'm tired of getting yelled at...im tired of not being recongized...im just tired of it all...if you want people to work with you, then yelling is the way to get it done


fine then be that way you know that i love you, but i'll be damned if you think you can tell me you know my friends better than i do. Like i said i love you, but i dont give a damn if you think that you can see through other guys fronts and tell me that you know what they are really thinking...ok? But like i said, i love you, so i can forget about all of that. Just realize that it makes me so god damn mad...ok? love always,kk


ok now...i think there *may* have been a little confusion over my story...im glad that Friend A told me that thing...i believed them the whole time...it was a rhetorical question...


DaMMiT sorry for all the swearing but would someone please leave me a god damn mesage/comment/something! anything please...oh my god...anyway though...i have a little story to tell you all

KiMS SToRy (some may recognize this from english class)

Here are two of your very best friends, Friend A and Friend B. One day, Friend A tells you something very surprising about Friend B. You are not quite sure who you should believe. Now who do you believe? Do you believe that Friend A is telling you the truth? Or do you believe with 'infinite hope' that Friend B can do no wrong and that Friend A is lying? hmmmmm?

*now doesn't that sound like something?*

in my case i believe that I am gonna go with Friend A...how about you?


oh wow would you look at that life is screwed up..lets admit it


well well well you know what i cant stand...when there are those girls who every and i do mean EVERY guy likes or at least thinks is hot. No matter what you have no chance around them...guess thats why i like all the attention i've been getting lately...just cuz i usually dont...oh well


yay!! you're coming back home today...and while its true that you only really were gone for about 3 days, i have still been bored out of my mind! some uh interesting things have happened...i cant wait to tell you about them...(actually they really arent that interesting...but you know what i mean!) i probably wont get to see you until tomorrow though..but thats ok!


oh wow, would ya look at that Well know isnt that something? He really thinks that they would actually be dumb enough to try something...now lets think rationally here, they arent gonna do anything that they know they shouldnt, they wont pull anything, or even try to. We all can see that right? so why can't you?


ummmm yah, so the third day of skool has come and gone. all i have are boring and more than slightly easy classes. a certain someone seems to think that just becuz i joke about all my guys all the time that im playing him and have more than one boyfriend...like that could happen! i mean for all of youout there that know me, do you really believe that i could manage to pull that off? i mean c'mon, lets think rationally here!


isnt it amazing how easily everything changes? i dont think that ive ever argued so much over such stupid little things with stash as much as i did today! everything that i argued about was stupid, none of it had a point NONE OF IT!!! so what then, was the point? i dont think i ever knew. And another thing for me to worry about, do you guys think that im leading you on? you know that all i want is to be friends, everyone understands that right? im not trying to be mean, but im happy with stash, so im sorry if i mislead you in anyway ok? let me know what you think

oh wow, look at that...looks like i could of stayed in band after all...who would've known...


wow...wasnt yesterday interesting? was it just me or was there a bit of tension in the air...especially after i got so embaressed after ricks little...uh...'present'...ya know our little inside joke..."i'm cheap, but he's free everyday except easter sunday" well now i got $20 to pay him with...lol...no...anyway...i will admit..,.it was pretty funny, lets just hope my dad doesnt find out..heh...


"....and don't forget....i can make you cry..." wow what a line


hey everybody, whats happening? well i've only seen SF once in almost 2 weeks now...and that really sucks! if we're still dating at the end of next year i dont know if i can handle this when he goes to college. i mean i can hardly stand a couple of weeks, how am i gonna handle months at a time? this might have to end after he graduates...as selfish as it sounds i just cant deal with it! it will just be too hard i dont know who paula and greg can do it? if afraid that i might just find someine else while your gone, and i couldnt bear to do that to you...but wait im getting ahead of myself...i have a whole 'nother year, i should just enjoy it while it lasts right? dude this super sucks! if any of you people that read this (what few of you there are) see my point of disagree, leave me a comment and let me know! ok? but anyway like i said you two holly guys especially read the thing from july 20th and let me know whta u think...i really wanna know!


well it seems that i have found out just what the consequences will be. No, i didnt act on anything if that is what all of you were thinking, i may be dumb, but im not that dumb. Yesterday on the way to the mall we had a seemingly innocent conversation, now i dont even know what started it...do you? But we somehow got on the topic of kissing a certain someone, KP to be exact (not that i ever did that) and you said that if that ever were to happen then we would be through. i took that to mean that there would be no explanations, no trying to work it out, no nothing ,and i dont want to chance that, not even the littlest bit. i asked you if you were getting bored with me, you say you arent, i can believe that i hope. But yet why are these two little things that arent even a reality, that havent happened and i can almost guarantee wont (at least not while we are still together) haunting me so much? can anyone tell me that?



I wonder what i would do for them, what the consequences would be, what you would say, what we both would do, all for two innocent little kisses. Those two little things could end us, they haven't happened, i really shouldn't even consider it... but one innocent little kiss from each person...what harm could they do? a lot definitely more than i could even begin to consider...so why then am i even thinking about them? why are they haunting me? WHY? i need to forget the idea even popped into my head, stop, those two people don't even know what i am thinking about. i'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to matters like this...am i now?


You get upset because i never 'talk' to you, you say that i never share my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions. Maybe it is because i'm just simply not that kind of girl. Did you ever think of that? hmm? Well i'm not, i am not opinionated, i can't share my feelings or my thoughts for multiple reasons. There is no eaasy answer, i could say that i'm too shy, or that i just can't because i was too afraid of it coming back on me before. But that, that just isn't it... i don't know what it is...i'd like too, but i can't. We never go anywhere, we never do anything, i used to be content with that, yesterday however, i just wasn't. I'll admit, we did have a couple of conversations yesterday, i did find out a few things that normally i wouldn't have. Yet some of them, they just bothered me for unexplained reasons...don't worry i still love you, we're not through yet...that has to be a mutual decision, and it isn't happening yet...i love you now and i always will...yet sometimes i wonder what else is out there, i haven't had that much experience, i only dated two other guys before you, one back in 8th grade and the other only for a few weeks...i can't help but wonder what i'm missing out on, (don't worry, i don't plan on acting any of this out) today's Greg's birthday...happy birthday to him...i know you'll never see this...that is for the best, i know i'll never explain this to you either I can almost see it know, if i let any of this out to you then things will be misunderstood, taken the wrong way and we'll break up...and i don't want that...lots of love...kk


hey, yesterday was LS's birthday...heh, only 9 more days until mine! wahoo, i'll finally be 16!


omg, that picnic was so much fun yesterday!!! i got to hang out with 2 of my favorite holly people BT and RW, yay...


i got my permit today...yay!! and SF isn't gonna break up with me, it was all just a misunderstanding! ok see y'all later!


hey everyone! well i sent in a submission to a webring, maybe now i'll actually get some hits!!! i passed drivers ed segment one!!! yay!!! i am so happy...some strange stuf has been happening lately, i am sorta getting a feeling the SF wants to berak up with me...that could be bad!!! we have been going out for 6 months as of yesterday...uh-oh...i dont wanna break up, i think that its probably all in my head though, so OH WELL! and then BT has said some weird stuff..*sigh*...BioChemTech should be interesting to say the least!


hey everybody! Whats up with all of you? i took my written exam for Drivers Ed yesterday and i got a 95/100 (thats only 5 wrong for u none mathematically minded, j/k!) and then today i took my range test, only 2 points off!!! (true i may have cheated, but everybody does, and i didn't get caught!) and then tomorrow (wednesday) i take the raod portion of my test!!! yay..i almost have my permit!! wahoo!! yippee!!! sorry im a bit excited! and yah, maybe i'll get to see SF today, i kinda hope so, but then again, maybe i should see how long i can go with out seeing him...before going crazy, hmmm how 'bout not! after i go on vacation, i'll come back, see him once, and then not see him again for another week before he goes to band camp and then i won't see him again until me and my mommy go to pick him up...*sigh*


lalalalalala..hopefully this will work this time!!! hey guess what movie i finally saw? thats right a clockwork orange!!! that was... well lets just say that was an interesting movie!!! hah! later all y'all!!!


heh...i knew it wouldn't work! does it ever? i try and do something, cause a reaction, you know the like. does it happen? i think not!! anyway though, whats up with everybody? SF is going to go work up north again, although i really he'd rather not, but hey i'm not gonna stand in his way. Actually in a way in could be a good thing, my daddy says that i spend too much time with him anyway, he's probably right. Heh, gives me more time to spend with LS and KW !!! i miss them anyway...so yah, i'll have to call them soon..ok? later y'all!


hey you want to know somthing? im not to proud to admit it either, i miss my former best friend. He knows who he is, nothing can ever be the same between us. But i can cope with thatm i think. i miss having someone that i can talk to though, i used to be able to talk to him about anything. Sure sometimes i risked the chance of being called dumb, or dork, or the like, but hey that was better than the alternative! My guy would prefer it if i could talk to him about things that bother me, i just can't do that though. No matter how hard i try... i just can't, after a few things that happened way back when, i learned not to share too much, the are people who could make my life a living hell if they wanted to, simply because they know too much! I know that in the end it can all come back on me just in a matter of time...that sucks, it really truly does!!! i doubt that he really misses me though, but thats ok, i expect that so later y'all...have a fun 4th of july if i don't talk to you before then!


howdy people...sorry its been so long...i had to drive on I-75 yesterday...it was scary but fun!!!and then i got a 'yearbook signature' from mikey...isn't that sweet? hey is anyone going to the OSMTEch picnic thingy? if you are let me know!!! but yah anyway, i went to the mall with larry and kurt on monday..now that was funny...but i dont want to corrupt your minds so i wont tell you about it..see all y'all later!!! love ya


lalala...i added comments...fun fun fun...driving is sooooooooooooooo much fun...allthough not drivers ed...thats poopy...hah...larry...call me!


hey people...that last message got messed up...but nayway....yah...i took a bunch of quizzes yesterday in my fourth hour...fun quizzes...here are the results...

SuperPower- super speed
evil- somewhat
naughty or nice- more nice...
blackhearted- quite...(me noooo)
inner rock star- britney spears...(oh god no..not that!!!)
cool huh?

You have high standards for yourself, and try desperately to live up to them. But when you are unable to reach those goals, you fall into a deep depression. People see you as a brilliant person, yet inside, you are full of self-doubt and fear of failure. You need to set more reasonable goals.

Your song is: About to Crash

Which degree of inner turbulence are you?

This quiz was made by Dionae

hey hey hey...whats up all y'all? im extremely bored...colin is really sweet sometimes (wow never thought id say that again)... no you see he signed my yearbook, and he said something about doing him a favor and never forgetting about him...i think that's sweet... stash's was sweet too... he syas that the best part of this year was meeting me...heee...,i am so happy...and mike couldn;t sign it becaue well, he didn;t want to...but hey...gotta love him anyway!


lalalalla...i talked to stizash yesterday...but only for a little while...woohooo..10 mins...do you know what noise fishies make? they go fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy....polar bears do they same...only they go polar bear polar bear polar bear polar bear polar bear polar bear polar bear....heh...im hyper...heh...heh...haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!


hey people...don't you just hate when something's wrong and you feel like you should be able to fix it or at least make things better... and you can't do anything at all...that helpless feeling is the worst feeling in the world...at least i think so.. i was worried about stash yesterday though...he said something about going to canada....just disappearing for a couple of days...then i got mad and told him that if he' d of actually gone and not even of told me that he had left i would of either said..well you know what? we're through, or if you ever pull a freaking stunt like that again..we will be...i think he got upset when i said that though... but everythings all good now..i just wanted to pull him into my lap and hold him and make him feel better...i can't do that though...he won't let me...i hate that helpless feeling...


if one more thing happens this week...i swear i'm just gonna burst into tears... its hard o just stay in control right now as it is...my mom made me so mad... apparently i was being cranky at home so she asked why, i said that "i am really stressed out right now, cuz i have to many things to do and not enough time to do it in!" so the only reply she had to that was..."well then why did you go to the mall?"... then she told me that i had been really bitchy and needed to go to bed earlier from now on...isn't that just great... your own mom tells you that you are being bitchy...she doesn't care that you are stressed or about to crack...she just simply doesn't care!!! that sucks... i wish stash was here...he can always make everything better with just a hug...i think i'm gonna need a big hug right now...from anyone too...then i got yelled at because i didn't let the dog out and he peed on the floor...i was gone, i came back to drop off a book...the dog wasn't even down there!!!...then i still have to tiptoe around that someone, but thats really hard when they don't know that you know...where are my guys when i need them...i'd take a hug from any of them right now...stash, rick, mike, josh, kurt, even larry...*sigh*


is it just be, or did this year suck? but yah, i mean, not everything has sucked...but a large portion of it has... my first fight with rachel, losing jesse, and all that other stuff...but other things have gotten better...now i have stash...he's been the best thing in my life for a long while now...and then josh and me have gotten closer, me and kurt to ...and who could forget larry??? so i have made new friends and lost a really good one... but there's so much that made this year great, and then so more that just made it really really suck...once skool ends, this will probably go on hiatus...i think that i spelled that right... but do you know what i hate the most of all? i hate tiptoeing around people, just because they having a rough time...that just pisses me off so much!! that is one of the advantages to keeping all your feelings inside, to not sharing with anyone, to never letting anyone know that something is wrong... thats what i do most of the time...if it wasn't for this blog, no one would honestly know how i feel... and thats the way i like to keep things..
hey everybody! things are weird today...its been raining really hard all morning! and the people are acting kind of weird too...hmmm...strange...but oh well...not my business...i don't wanna know...but anyway...i have dance team practice tomorrow...yay! my ears hurt though, cuz i accidently gauged them up...oopsie..oh well...i miss stash, even though i hung out with him everyday from last wednesday until sunday, i still didn't even get to talk to him yesterday... :>(...maybe today, at the latest i'll get to see him tomorrow!


hey y'all like my new layout? joshie's been stressed thats not good...not good at all..things are getting better for me now...except i have a bump on my wrist where i banged into the steering column on stash's jetski and then my ankle is swollen cuz i twisted it on teh stage steps yesterday at dress rehersal...thast really not good when you're recital is tomorrow!!!!!! i got my dance pictures yesterday...they look greattt!!! not seriously they are really cool...they have a mettalic finish on them so they are really shiny... ooooo... i like shiny things..heh...later y'all...i love u


yay...yet another new layout...not my own of course...im too dumb to do that...but anyway...so yah...cool huh? later yall


don't think that i'm saying that all of this is the other person's fault or that none of it is mine...i take full responsiblity for a large portion of all this...a major part of it is my own fault...i just hope you don't expect an apology...cuz the only thing that i am willing to apologize for i that made it seem as if it was all you're fault...and it wasn't


do you know what's its like to be friends with someone since 7th grade....and then in about the total space of a week...give or take a year...lose them completely...it sucks...but then again...in some cases, or at least this one...its all for the best...i guess...there's not much left to do but continue on with your life even though you aren't on speaking terms with someone you've talked to just about everyday in your life...imagine that your best friend in the entire world all of a sudden one day... completely out of the blue...just up and says...i'm sick of you, of hearing about your day, your life, you "love" problems, all your problems in fact, and just plain old you...can you imagine what your response might be like? i'd imagine that it'd be somewhat like mine...and then after saying.."maybe this isn't worth fixing...but hey, we can give it another shot if you'd think it would work"...being told...well that's the truth...goodbye...what would you're reaction be? maybe i rely on my friend's opinions too much...maybe that's an understatement...but still would those friendships of lasted even this long if they didn't expect that, or no that sounds wrong...if they didn't mind/want that? i don't think so...oh well...thats what i get for relying on others opionions too much...its time for me to start using my own head and making my own decisions...not letting others make them for me...


mike thinks that things would of happened between us even without jesse's help...jesse...well i am not sure what he thinks...it is most likely that he thinks nothing would have...or it just would of taken sooooooo much longer...me i tend to think like mike...what about you?


yah sure, i miss the way things used to be, but thats not my choice now is it...it is time for me to move on...make new friends, ones that are on my same level...maybe i haven't changed, maybe it ws you who did...but still...you can't fault me for that...and you...mikey... you'er a sweetheart, but sometimes you just don't understand...its not about anyone being mean to me or just not being nice, it has to do with the way things used to be, and the totally different way things are now...and yes, i know...things can;t stay the same way forever... but it was nice having somethings to count on...i guess we know where people's priorities lie now... and nothing can change that. But you see mikey...sometimes i can't help but wonder...would anything of happened between us if not for the aforementioned jesse? without his prodding(how else can i say it), encouraging and interjecting...who knows whatmay have happened... he brought us together in teh first place...in a way..and he tried this last time...who knows...you know what i mean?


i guess that i thought ever thing was so screwed up was because everything is changing...and i don't like it! i miss the wasy things used to be...lets see...me and jesse...we're close...but only sometimes...its not like it used to be...me and joshie...we're closer now...but yet he's not a replacement for jesse...me and mike get along now...thats good...only sometimes i can't help but wonder why he would want to be friends with me...or actually any of them for that matter...how can mike like me? stash too? it just doesn't make sense...at least not to me... i wish that someone could explain it...but someho, i doubt anyone can...and then me and manda...i love her to death...she's my best friend...but sometimes..there are just things thati can't tell her, simply because she wouldn't understand.. sometimes i think no one will...but not always... and then i talk to stash about somethings...but i know that alot of the time...it just either upsets him, makes him mad, or he doesn't fully realize it either...and rachel...ever since all that stuff happened before she still doesn't fully trust me...and a lot of the time i doubt she ever will...but hey i can live with that...later y'all...goto my mboard and tell me what you think about all this...


lalalalalala....i hate being sick...maybe my life isn't so screwed up anymore...i can handle it for the moment..i hope...at least i have someone thati can talk to...most of the time


why am i always so constantly screwed?? and don't say " oh you don't have it so bad" cuz you don't know what the hell you're talking about... you're not me...ok? got it? good!


lalala..whats up? i don't know what to do...everything is so screwed...oh well


howdy y'all whats up? the FIRSTers are all back now...yay...todya is boring though, although a lot more busy...i got almost nothing done in science all week...and i wish that jesse would quit saying that mike i is in love with me...cuz he isn't...i think...


heh heh ...i was gone for almost 24 hours this weekend..i've spent every day wih stash since thursday...heh...i wish the first kids would come back, i miss them.... a lot


prom is today!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! and then im gonna go spend the nite at paula's house...now that should be interesting, and then we're going back to greg's tomorrow at 11...wow...i'm not gonna be home like all weekend...oh well...i don't know if i need to bring anything wih me or not...oh well...i guess i'll find out!!! i'm getting ready at stash's house...not that he'll be there of course...so anyway yah...PDD until wednesday!!! yay!!! i wonder if anyone ever knew that i liked Rick except the LO kids and keith ? well who knows? later y'all!!! i gotta go do science!


hey hey hey...whats up y'all? im bored... prom is tomorrow!!! yay....anyway...what up with you? i miss all the first kids, well some of them...that is...hopefully i'll get my postcards soon!!! anyway...i had to have a talk with stash yesterday...things are all good now...but i said something that i now i kinda regret saying...cuz he didn't say it back...so now im not gonna say it again, unless he does too that is...i should've listened to jesse...oh well...later ya'll


hey hey hey...im bored...and stash said something that confused me...i don't get what he means by it... oh well.... i'll figure it out sooner or later...i am not sure whats up with JB either...i am screwed up...i can't figure anything out...somethings wrong with me head....oh well...not too much i can do about it...later y'all
howdy y'all! prom is FRIDAY!!!!! yay....PDD all week...that sucks no sleeping in for us...but hey at least we have short classes...heh


lalalala....whats up everyone? so yah anyway...im bored...now i'm at home...supposedly doing my buslaw hmwk...not..but hey i gotta get it done...im glad rick and mike are my friends...heh...
hey everybody! whats up? im not mad anymore....i had fun yesterday...so whats up with y'all? mike is gonna send me a postcard from florida...yay....kurt too....i can't wait!


hey y'all....hi mike...there's something i wanna tell you..rachel still doesn't trust me... so yah...anyway...i really used to like mike...for a long time too...only he didn;t like me back until it was to late...maybe in the future


heeheeheeheehee...lalalalala....i am really hyper today...only i don't know why.....yesterday really really sucked..only i don't want to get into it....rachel doesn't trust me anymore...that sucks...i cried in front of stash...which is something thati swore id never do...and it sucked...


hey y'all....it finally works....all of it too...yay!!


lalalalala...its still a tech week
yayayayayaya....im hyper....i got a whoole lot more sleep last nite than i did the nite before....yah....anyway....i miss larry and kurt soooooo much ...and i miss stash a whole lot too....but for other reasons if you know what i mean....heh heh heh...


hey i'm at LO now...heh heh heh...and i switched my template yet again...you like?
hah haha i love tech weeks...lots of website time....hee hheee...i wish stash was back
hah hah
llalalalalal....two words....tech week


lalalalla...no full days of skool left for a week and or so!!!!!!! so anyway...yah i have a half day today..no exams and a halfday tomorrow...one exam...oh well...nbd...and then i have business and personal law...so yay like i said joshies not moving...i had a bad dream about stash last nite,....(no not like that...) i dreamed that stash came over, but i had my pajamas on still cuz i wasn't ready yet and then so i wen tot go change for half an hour and he left before i came back down...so then i called him again...and he said i don't want to come over anymore unless we actually go do something other than watch cartoons...and then he broke up with me..it ws weirder than that..i just don't know how to explain it..oh well...latee y'all


hey y'all...i am at skool...still...but not for too much longer hopefully...after this i have dance until 5and then i have to be at open lab at 6 until 8 and then i am gonna call the stashinator...and yes i just called him the stashinator...my mommy calls him that...heh heh heh...i love you all...heh...
i love you all
hey everybody! whats up y'all???? i am soooooooo incredibly happy right now...you cannot believe it!!! joshie is not moing to north carolina !!! yayayayayay!!!! that is great!!! lalalallalalalala...and i have a half day tomorrow so i get to spend ssome time with stash....yippee!!! ilove all y'all!


howdy y'all...guess what i get to stay at school until 9:00-ish....yay...and larry (ldawg) is coming back to school today i hope...(keep your fingers crossed)... i miss him...ummm....yah...i miss all the first kids too...the really bad thing is that i have feelign that if jesse quits OSMTech then we are gonan grow even farther apart and then that'll be the end of us...and i don't want that to happen...hmmm...i g2g love ya lots


umm yah...since none of this is seeming to work i am just gonna have to post to a blogspot and link irt to my new site which isn't up and running yet... hmmmm... strange...and guess what? i get to go to prom!!! i'm gonna go with stash...(no not larry) and it hopefully will be a lot of fun...hopefully is the key there though... OMG!!!! stash it seems still has issues with my age...i just hope he won't break up with me on his bday when he turns 18...it 2 days after prom too...ohhh that sucks... oh well what can i do?

later y'all


hey everyone!!! whats up with y'all? guess what? i was at school yesterday from 7:30am-5:15 pm...lots o fun...NOT!!! but hey at least i got 6 service learning hours...only a few left!!! yay!!! so yah we're all gonna go cosmic bowling on friday after F & F nite...any ya'll wanna come just email me or something...k?
later y'all...luv ya...KP


wow...its been so long!!!....anyway..yah...busybusybusy...thats me!!!! i have trio practice, dance and a concert tonite...phooeey....at least i get to see stash at school today!!!and then hopefully we can get together tomorrow...actually im surprised that we aren't sick of each other yet....i mean we spend a whole lot of time together...maybe more than we should...nah...holly guys are hot...love all y'all


hey again...whats up y'all?...well i wrote stash this note and explained that i was just joking about all of the rick stuff...but thta he was sweet and kinda cute..but that i liked stash...not rick...and he still got kinda mad uhoh


hi everybody! i'm at osmtech...were back to doing the "science" thing again...i don't wanna...and since josh isn't here...im not going to either...oh well...rocky says he's in the "hardest weight class" ok whatever...umm yah...yesterday, i got indirectly licked by RICK! cuz i had something drawn on my hand and he just ups and licks his finger and erases it from my hand...why...i don't know....only i made the mistake of telling stash...not a good idea...he got a little mad...cuz he gets jealous once in awhile...only he's not nearly as bad as colin ever was!..well i g2g.. ...i'll keep you posted!!


ummm...yah...jon did call stash...now i feel bad...remind me never to give out my boyfriend's phone number to random people anymore...so yah anyway...my weekend was pretty boring...i went to a party where i knew like no one...it was fun though...and then stash came over for like 8.5 hours on saturday...and then i had to write my stupid fibonacci paper...stupid thing...Rocky's talking to me again...yay!..i g2g i love all y'all


yah...im back again...my lip hurts...ouch...it split..not cool...anyway...yah im done with my flash thing...and i'm bored out of my mind...not to mention that i screwed up my website...it doesn't work anymore...oh well..no one minds...its not like anyone goes there anyway...i wanna go home...well actually i wanna go to stash's house...or something...i just wanna spend some time with him again...oh well...oh yah by the way...rocky got disqualfied in regionals...bad call by the ref...and colin hates history...but so do i...partly because he and his dumb friends are there...oh well...yah and i'm rambling...on oand on and on and on and on ....etc.....you get the point...i wonder i jon ever called stash...hmmmm
hahahahahhahahaha...mike i is dating a freshman holly girl...why do i seem to find it so incredibly funny though? i for one certainly don't have a clue as to why...oh well its at least funny to me...and thats all that matters anyway! Y'all wanna know something else i don't get? so what if "they" wanted to take their boyfriends to the LP concert...who cares...it really shouldn't be that big of a deal in the first place...after all...it is their boyfriends....they don't get to see then all that often...whatever...its screwed up...i don't see why she cares so much....oh well it desn't matter to me!!! so anyway...manda's party is tonite...hope i'll have fun...see y'all later...and don't forget i love MOST of you!


flash really really really sucks...or at least our tutorial...not any fun at all....phooey...but hey the holly kids are back..yay!
lalala...no lo today!!! our school is so weird!...we would be back in time for fourth hour today...only they excused is so i'm so definitely not going....my daddy's gonna come pick me up after OSMTech...yay!


i'm starting to think that when i say that i suck at everything, people don't take me seriously...even though i am serious...i don' think that they get my philosophy on life...you see the way that i see it is...if you just assume that you suck at everything, then it doesn't hurt quite so much, when you find out you actually do...makes sense doesn't it? it does to me!


hey! i was gonna post yesterday, but i got kicked off before i could...then stash came over...its not good...he can tell i'm thinking about something...and i think he can tell thats its something that i don't want to tell him...well at least not yet... i saw stash everyday last week from sunday 2/10 - yesterday well except for saturday...i went to the mall with larry and jesse that day...i was being really really really dumb...i was talking about before i really got to know stash...and about how i didn't really notice him cuz of the other person i liked (rocky for all you dumb kids..jk)and i told him about how i liked this person for 3 years...i think that might of scared him...especially since i won't tell him who it was...well i got to go...oh and just so all you know...i think i still love everyone..i can't decide..


hi again! yah yah i know, i'm a bad blogger, i rarely post everyday now...no time really, especially now that i actually have to WORK in science again...so yah, it's monday...the suckiest day of all days, except this week we don't have school so it doesn't count!!! so anyway, Solo and Ensemble Festival (s&e) was on saturday..me and jesse so desevered a 1 on our duet...(we got a two)..but we had stupid clarinet 3 for a judge, so noooooooooooo....and our trio was AWESOME!!!! go me jesse and larry...we got a 1 and are definitely going to states now...yay!!!! and yah so like i said, it's monday, and stash had his surgey this morning, i went and visited him for about and hour and a half earlier...he was hopped up on vicadin (sp) he's cute when he's drugged...and he's cute when he's not too... but hey, it works...i changed my mind again, even if rocky asked me out...i wouldn't give up stash for anyone...i am passed my original stage i mentioned last time...do you think stash is cute?


i am so incredibaly sick of school, oh well,no school next week...YAY!!! so anyway stash has his surgery on monday, i might go visit him when he comes home,maybe, and then we have solo and ensemble festival on saturday (go us) and pep band today after school...busy busy busy...guess what i really like stash, really, really really, only i have a problem...you know when you are at that stage, when you like other people but you still kinda like another person...thats what stage im at..well i g2g...BYE


school sucks....no really!!! anyway...science is so dumb...i should be working onthat...oh well i will be soon...i am so busy this week, monday we stayed afterschool and practiced, tuesday i had dance, oh and stash is so sweet, he stayed afterschool with me, even though he didnt need too!!! and then today, wednesday, i am going over to stash's house, (he had to see the surgeon this morning), thursday i have dance again, and friday i have pep band, bowling (maybe) and thats it...oh and then on saturday, we have solo and ensemble festival...busy busy busy....sunday i am not doing anything that i kow of yet...oh well i g2g i love all y'all!


hi again everyone! i am so BORED!!! we had snow days for the last two days, which wasn't actually all that bad considering i got to actually see stash then...oh yes and speaking of stash...heh...yesterday i decided to go bowling with him and all his friends..we (me and my dad) passed him on the way over, he got pulled over, and he got a ticket...he wasn't too happy though...


hey again...sorry it has been so long since i have been able to post!! ummm yah, so stash came over on saturday...for 9.5 hours..and then he came over again sunday...only for 4 hours this time though...my brother and my neighbors were all spying on us through the basement window though, and they videotaped us laying on the couch together (nothing was happening!) and then my brother claims he saw us making out...we weren't!!! (at least not when he was there...) crazy thats what this is crazy...anyway...and then yesterday was hat day...we finally didn't miss it for once!!! i was wearing stash's hat...its at my house right now though...i forgot to give it back again...well i better go see y'all later...and don't forget how much i love you!!!


yay!!! its FRIDAY!!!!!!i love fridays...no more school for the weekend... wahoo... anyway...i don't think that i am gonna go to pepband...no one that i wanna be with is gonna be at the game...maybe i'll go do somethign with stash ...unless he goes tothe game and works concessions...which he just might do...well i g2g nothing importants happening right now..so bye...!!!!


hi!..whats up? i am working (supposedly) on my adobe cd cover thingy....only im not...everyone else is going to pine knob on tuesday...not me of course tough...atually i haven't been invited officially...not that i could go anyway, i have my class...and maybe i'll go hang out with stash afterwards...oh yah speaking of stash...i finally went to his house yesterday...i was there for about 2 hours or something like that, and then we went back to my house for another hour and a half...it was so funny though...we were sitting on his couch in the basement watchng cartoons...he had his arm around me and i had my head on his stomach, and guess who walks in...? his neighbor and friend...Greg! so they start talking, im just stting there pretending i wasn't there...and then greg was like "well i can see you're a little distracted right now..." so he went and played on stash's computer...oh well...oh and his litle brother was fighting with his mom...heard a lot of f words, all in a row too...and then when he drove me home, he found out that his little brother zach wrote something perverted on his car window...but he rolled down the window and wouldn't let me see so you know it wasn't cool...oh well...see all you guys later...love ya!


hi again...do ou think it'll work?
hiiiii!!!! so whats up with all of you? sorry i haven't posted in so long...i've been busy, and without computer access...yah so anyway, friday i had exams and then me and jesse and stash went to the basketball game..pep band woo...and then on saturday, stash came over before he went to the monster truck thingy...(i should of gone after all...mike went too) and then my friend amanda came over and spent the night...and then on sunday i went to pine knob with rachel and boatman...we bonded...as rachel would say...heehee...and stash went snowboarding on monday with his family and fractured his wrist...not cool...i feel so bad for him...well whatcha gonna do..i love all you...


hi! ummm yah...today is interesting....i'm at OSMTech ....there are a whole three kids here...me, kurt, and jesse...yay...not...if boatman and greyson were here, then we would play ERS...and jesse thinks i have yummy bagels...and yes i'm speaking literally...oh nevermind...i was really mad at ben cuz he told mike everything i said to him on the phone, only...then i rethought it and it is better cuz now i don't have to tell him myself!!! he's a sweetie, but i like stash so much more...yep i really really do...i love all y'all!
yah stash is coming over today...he's going to new york on the band trip...im not going...i wanna go but i can't....hopefully my dad will be good today....he hasn't met stash yet...uh-oh


hi...i made some changes..yet again...thanx for your help jesse...anyway..he's coming over today...stash is gonna come over thursday....yay!!!!! BYE


yo i love everyone..except for a couple of people
yay...now its monday..i took my math exam in 35 minutes..we had an hour...anyway...on satuday me and stash went to the movies...we saw orange county...it was funny...and then we to my house and played playstation with my five year old cousin...lots o fun...and i finally got to talk to ben...mike was in the car...oh yah...that was smart...im so cool...not...i love everyone still....


yo...everyone..nothing can go wrong today...i am so happy...stash asked me out last nite...yay...anyway..i still havent heard from ben..maybe later today...my mom saw stash and his sis at the grocery store..i was at dance, i didn't see him...i just gotta think of what to say to ben...oh i know...i will figure out how to tell mike that i dont want to be anthing more than friends..without hurting him..cuz getting hurt sucks..dontcha think? i love everyone...at least for now...


i love you too jesse!!! well you know what i mean...i love everyone..at the moment at least...so yah i went to the mall with stash yesterday...we were there for about 3 hours or so..we had fun..i guess..anyway...so i got haome at like 7:40 and my mom thought i was high or something cuz my eyes were all red from mny contacts...that was screwy but so then at like 8:30 the phone rings..i was assuming that it was my dad...but lo and behold, big surprise...it was stash's friend chris..ya know the one that likes RACHEL! and so i thought he was gona ask me something about rachel but instead he asked me out for stash!..he kept going on and on about how he didn't want stash to pass up this opportunity and that i was the right girl for him and everything...it was kinda strange...and he wouldn't tell me if stash knew about this or if he was there or anything like that..it was weird oh well..now i g2g to LOtown and find out if stash knew about it in the first place...uh-oh..what if he doesn't? well then i'll just be screwed...i love you guys...